So, as stated earlier, I may not know exactly why I hate Copperplate but I do know a few things that make me quite uncomfortable about it and they are, in my opinion, the furthest thing from frivolous. Understand, that typographic taxonomy or nomenclature, if you prefer, is, in the simplest of terms, a study in the dichotomy of characteristics: serif and sans-serif; bold and light (weight); thick and thin (contrast); ascenders and descenders; etc. The anatomy of the specific letterforms is even more elementary in that their constituent parts are specifically named. Observe:

It’s important to note that typography and specifically typeface design is not altogether an uncomplicated affair. Turns out, as this ilovetypography article so well explains, that there are a lot more than the five vertical measures (descender, baseline, mean line, cap height, and ascender) that go into designing a sound typeface.

That said, let’s move on to why Copperplate has become such a great source typographic discomfiture.

typographic indecision

Fact: Serifs are small, angular projections extending from the ends of a letterform’s strokes.
Fact: Letterforms that have serifs are called serif or seriffed typefaces.
Fact: Sans means: without, which means: free from; excluding; with the absence, omission, or avoidance of; not with; lacking. Therefore, letterforms without serifs are called sans-serif.
Fact: Gothic is a metonyms for sans-serif typeface. As is Grotesque and/ or grotesk.

typographic androgyny

(or confusion, if you please)
If we anthropomorphisize typefaces for a minute, we’ll agree that, indeed, said “angular projections extending from the ends of a letterform’s strokes” are what phenotypically make a serif typeface a serif typeface! Concordantly, the absence of these angular projections make a typeface categorically sans serif. Simple. In keeping with this genetics/ biology analogy, we will also agree that serifs are what unambiguously render serif typefaces morphologically different from sans serif. It’s easy math! It’s really an easy “if this, then that; if not this, then not that” expression. One can’t simplify the matter without effectively complicating it.

Before this devolves into a misdirected study of typographic discomfiture, I should simply state that what really bothers me is the ease with which Copperplate (in whatever flavor you find it) crosses from garden-variety ambiguity into an altogether new realm of pseudohermaphroditism! A sans serif bearing the quintessential characteristics of a serif. This, in my book, is not acceptable.